Heavenly

On Sunday, I honestly believe I caught a glimpse of heaven.

The temperature was in the lows 80's.  I was drenched in sweat and my legs pleaded with me for rest, but I overruled their petition and kept moving forward.  I had been swimming, biking, and running in the Nation's Triathlon for over 3 hours.  Last year, I was a chemotherapy patient and spectator, but this year, I was a cancer-free competitor.  I had faced some unexpected adversity on the course and was really hurting during the final miles of the run.

As I rounded a corner, I saw my youngest brother, Jeff, waiting to run me in to the finish line.  He came alongside me and said "You're almost there, Mike.  Once you get over that bridge, you will see the finish line and everybody is waiting for you."  His words put a little bit of pep in my step and we made it over the bridge.  I swear that last quarter mile of road was paved with gold and the word, FINISH, sat atop the pearly gates.  Every part of my body was screaming at me, but it didn't matter now.  As Jeff veered off, I saw the grey cluster of Team Hoj shirts and the cheering got louder and louder; I couldn't keep my lips from quivering and the tears from falling.  Crossing that finish line was unlike anything I had ever experienced before and the floodgates of my emotions burst wide open.  All I could do was nod my head amidst handshakes, hugs, and congratulations.

And just like that, it was over.  The race that had taken all morning to complete was finished.  Months upon months of training had paid off.  A year's worth of anticipation and preparation had suddenly vanished.  I was utterly consumed by the joy of the moment and no longer felt the pain of last year's struggle.  Only one word could do it justice: heavenly.

This race was just a reflection of life.  Every affliction and trial that life brings our way has devastating potential because we can't see the finish line.  We just want it to be over.  We just want to quit.  But Paul reminds us, just as he did the Corinthians, "For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" (II Corinthians 4:17-18).

This is one of our foundational hopes, is it not?  Heaven is eternal and its joy is everlasting.  The trials that brought us to it will no longer bring us to tears, but bring us to worship the One who brought us through them.  When we cross that finish line, we will find true peace, rest, and fulfillment.  I only got a taste of heaven this weekend and it has left me starving for more.  The anticipation of running towards the Kingdom and hearing "Well done, good and faithful servant... enter into the joy of your master" is unrelenting.

Everyone has their own course marked out for them to complete.  Finish it by the grace and strength of God's spirit, and give Him the glory when all is said and done.

Considering the cancer chapter officially closed.

  
Humbled,

MH

     

Where Would Jesus Be?

As I exited I-95 into the bowels of the inner city, I must admit that I was a bit apprehensive.  The buildup to this Saturday had been quite extensive (at least in my mind).  Several friends and FCA board members had told me that this was the worst neighborhood in the entire city of Philadelphia.  In this area ravaged by poverty, people seem to have no money, yet they find a way to get a hold of drugs.  Prostitutes roam the street corners and crime abounds.  The neighborhood is fighting to hold on, yet most steer clear altogether.  If you've seen the Rocky movies, then you've seen this place.  This is Kensington.  

So why would this 23 year old white boy, bred in a polar opposite world, be going into this place instead of away from it?

"This is where Jesus would be."

Yes, this was technically part of my job that I was asked to participate in.  FCA was invited to represent our ministry at a block party in Kensington, hosted by Rock Ministries.  There was a live band, blow-up castles and obstacle courses, classic summer food, and several boxing exhibitions.  We brought a few basketball hoops and free FCA Gear as yet another way to love on these people.  You could make the argument that I was obligated to be there, yet it didn't feel that way at all.  I was so excited, yet equally nervous as I stepped out into a place unlike anywhere I had ever been.

No sooner than we had our sign set up, a man walked up to me and immediately inquired about our ministry.  As we started talking, he began to tell me his story.  He was a home grown, Kensington product that experienced many of the struggles that the majority of its residents do.  He turned his life around and, by the grace of God, is now a member of the congregation at Rock Ministries.  He told me to turn around and as we looked out over the chain link fence, he echoed all of the negative things that I had already heard.  But he folded his arms, and said with a sigh...

"But this is where Jesus would be."

I'm ashamed to say that I can't even remember this man's name, but his words are burned into my brain.    After being asked why He ate with tax collectors and sinners, Jesus said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick" (Mark 2).  What kind of "good news" do our lives exemplify if we disregard these people as unsettling statistics and avoid them like the plague?  These are human beings, made in the perfect image of the triune God who have beautiful little babies and families and dreams.  But they live among streets that are overflowing with destructive behaviors and lifestyles.  They need to experience a gospel whose pre-eminence is love.

It was so encouraging to walk along that street and see the sign for Rock Ministries.  They are providing outlets for juveniles at risk to box, grapple, and even learn skills like music or art.  Buddy, Paul, and all of the other staff there are the face of Jesus to those who badly need to know Him.  They have traded comfort and security to get in the trenches in an area starving for hope.  

What a privilege to be a part of it for an afternoon.  I can't imagine I'll be able to stay away for long.

Humbled,

MH

The Sparrow

Now that the weather has taken a turn for the better, I typically wake up to one of two sounds in the morning.  Some mornings I am slapped out of my slumber by the rumble of mower decks and weed-wackers as the grounds crew attends to the grass.  But on others, the much more pleasant sound of birds chirping provides me with a natural alarm clock.

Last week (on a day that was not mowing day), I woke up to the birds and rolled over to lay in bed for a few more moments.  As I slowly regained consciousness, I laid there for a bit and thought about those birds.  How do they decide where to build a nest?  How do they know where to go get food?  What do they do during a hard rain?  All of these questions revolved the basic necessities of life, and I made up my own answers as a completely uneducated ornithologist.  However far off I may have been, my mind quickly went to a passage in Matthew 6:25-33...

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  And why are you anxious about clothing?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying 'What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"  for the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  


Even though I am a bit scatter-brained at times, there was a point to my bird pondering so early in the morning.  You see, the topic of fundraising was on my mind and had been for some time.  It is usually one of the biggest sources of anxiety and worry in my life.  But on this morning, things were different.  I had recently been blessed by several donors who had come alongside me to help meet my budget goals for the upcoming year.  I had been "fed," just like the birds of the air.

I've heard my fair share of sermons on this passage before, and the message is pretty straight forward: don't worry because God will give you what you need (not necessarily what you want), if you seek His kingdom first.  And I agree.  But through this process of fundraising, I have also had to come to grips with another element of this passage: the time component.  "When" will God give me what I need?  Think about the birds again.  God the Creator causes the right worms to crawl up to the surface of the ground at the right time, so that the right bird can gobble it up.  He does the same thing with the seeds and anything else they consume.  He orchestrates that they would have what they need in the right place and the right time.  He could just as easily give them a big cup full of night crawlers like we buy at the bait and tackle shop and say "Here's your portion for the week."  But He doesn't.  Why?

Because there is no dependency in that.

God is constantly moving us towards a place of increased dependency.  I wanted to have a full year's worth of funding in place months ago and He could have done it without batting an eye.  My mind wouldn't be at ease until I had stocked the barn completely, but it didn't go that way.  The funds came in slowly, check by check, but it was not until I was a month away from moving to Philly that the funds were finally in place.  Each and every donation was a reminder that He was providing the way for me to accomplish this enormous task.  His provision was completely sufficient and His timing was impeccable.  

I suppose it is unrealistic to think that human beings will never be completely rid of worry or anxiety about life's demands, but we can never forget that our "heavenly Father knows that you need them all."  He made you and he knows what you need...

And when you need it.  

Humbled yet again,

MH

He Said That?

I don't listen to the radio much, but a few weeks ago, I was without my iPod so resorted to the local stations.  Somewhere along the way, I landed on a Christian station and a song came on that made me frown.  I'd never heard it before, but the lyrics went something like this...

He said
I won't give you more,  more than you can take
I might like you bend, but I won't let you break
Oh, I'll never, ever let you go
Don't you forget what He said


Really?  He said that?  When and to whom?  Hold on to those questions for a moment and read this...

I hear religious-minded people say all the time with good intentions, "God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot carry it."  Really?  My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone.  He will break your back and your will.  He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load.  All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him.

This paragraph comes from Greg Lucas' book, Wrestling With An Angel.  The stories that tug your heart in this book are birthed from Greg's struggle as the father of a disabled child and its many parallels to the spiritual realm.  It is a deeply moving tale that forces its readers to wrestle with the nature of God and how He chooses to mold us and make Himself known.

Now, let's bring it all together.  My guess is that the authors of this song and those who offered comfort to Greg fell prey to a commonly misinterpreted verse.  I Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful and will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."    This verse is citing deliverance from temptation.  But temptation and hardship are two utterly different worlds.

You see, I've also had people tell me that God never gives us more than we can handle.  It's a comforting notion and I searched for the passage of Scripture that says so when I was diagnosed with cancer.  But I couldn't find it.  The fact that we have Christian artists claiming God said things that He actually didn't say  just makes the mess even more difficult for struggling believers.  It's true that He will never leave us, nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:8).  But as far as giving us more than we can handle... well that's a different story.  Time and time again, we see stories in Scripture of people who face odds so unbearable that they cannot possibly do it without God.  Moses had to lead Yaweh's people out from one of the most dominant empires on the planet.  A young shepherd boy named David had to deliver the nation of Israel with a few smooth stones.  Job had to put his money where his mouth was as his entire world literally crumbled around him.  The apostle Paul encountered so many trials and tribulations that the Lord finally said to him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."     

Those are His words.  That is the truth that you can cling to and even stake your life on.  This last year of my life has made me realize more than ever that God uses the events in our lives to keep us in a state of constant dependency.  I think Greg would agree (read his story to find out).  He will give us more than we feeble humans can take and it might even break us at times.  But in that brokenness, He is there walking right beside us.  He is ready to consume us with grace when we have realized that we cannot do it on our own.  It is then that we get a glimpse of His total sufficiency and power.  

That is what He said.

Dependent,

MH

Beside Still Waters

Lately, I have found myself in a constant state of stress about the future.  Like a nagging ache that won't go away, I haven't been able to shake it.  To keep this long story short, I'll just share the remedy.  If you are dealing with any amount of stress, anxiety, or worry (or even if you're not), I highly recommend this.  It is just a simple reminder from Scripture that will fix your eyes back on the truth. 

1.  Find a quiet place and rid yourself of all distractions (technology included).

2.  Take a few moments to confess life's current struggles and stresses to the Lord.

3.  Play this song while lying flat on your back with eyes closed.  Afterwards, don't get up right away.  Just rest in solitude beside the still waters...

There is no greater assurance in life's "shadow of death" than being saturated in the truth, spoken in His word.  Jon Foreman just so happens to offer a very soothing and accessible way to do it.    

Restored,

MH

Timeline Christianity

Facebook is a baffling phenomenon to me.  It's a wonderful way to re-connect with old friends or even make new ones.  It can be a great asset in developing relationships for a cause or promoting anything under the sun.  But it many respects, it has created a mask for its users, a false sense of who they really are by granting them the ability to control what they post and what others can see about them.  Among the many things that appear on my newsfeed, I frequently see pictures from the group "Jesus Is My Savior."  The group has over 80,000 likes and over 2,000 people "Talking About This."  The last picture that I saw from them made me cringe when it claimed "Jesus died on a cross for us, yet only 3% of us care about his enough to help spread his word- even though its their Christian duty!  So join the 3% that actually cares.  All you have to do is hit 'share' to help spread this message."  

As much as I enjoy Facebook, I think it has done Christianity a disservice and I need to catch myself sometimes.  While it can be a tremendous avenue for generating awareness, news, and relationships for the sake of the Gospel, I fear that it has tainted the meaning of the phrase "love Jesus."  It seems as if we have been lulled into thinking that updating our status' with Bible verses or sharing quotes from Charles Spurgeon or convicting pictures translates into social justice.  In a sense we have developed a "Timeline Christianity" that supposedly indicates our devotion to discipleship.  Even though it is commendable for us to wear our hearts on our Timelines, is this what Jesus has been calling His disciples to all along?  Recall his conversation with Peter in John 21: 15-17... 

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"  "Yes, Lord, " he said, "You know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"  He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."  The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"  Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?"  He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

I am in no position to judge anyone's heart because I have no way of knowing where their conviction spurns to action.  That forever remains between them and the Lord.  But my own heart tells me that clicking the "Like" button is far easier than putting food in the orphan's mouth.  It is more convenient to "Share" a picture than get in the trenches and suffer spiritual warfare with brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is just plain harder to give time to serve the widow or re-route a lifestyle on behalf of the oppressed.  Why?  Because there is a great cost involved, a sacrifice that is counter-intuitive to our nature.  If we really love Jesus Christ, if we truly want to serve Him, then we must feed His sheep.  There are many out there whose lives' reflect their posts and the world is a better place because of it.  This is not about bashing anyone for surface-level Christianity, but rather a challenge for reflection.  I'm going to continue using  Facebook to advance the Gospel and I hope you do too.  

But shame on us if our Christianity is confined to the internet.

If you do too, then feed His sheep.

Striving for real discipleship,

MH

        

An Exhausted Hallelujah

Oh Heavenly Father,

For months on end, I dreamt of the days when fatigue would no longer enslave me, when days full of dizziness and nausea would cease.  I longed to feel the Resilite of a wrestling mat underneath my feet again and stand in the trenches with my brothers as they prepared, day in and day out, to achieve their dreams.  I was locked in brutal struggle with one of the Enemy's most formidable agents, who wreaked more than just physical havoc.

Lord, Your temple was battered, but it is being rebuilt.  It is an experience unlike anything I have ever encountered.  It is excruciating and beautiful.  At times, it is discouraging, yet seeds of hope are beginning to sprout.  Every drop of sweat is an offering.  Each painful repetition is a "thank-you."  Every shot drilled is an act of gratitude and every sprint is an exhausted "hallelujah."

Your faithfulness is not forgotten.  Please accept these tokens of thankfulness.

Amen.

MH

Wrought

I believe I was in the 4th grade...

On a brisk, fall afternoon, the 4th grade classes of Valley Christian Academy took a tour of a replicated colonial village.  Most of the day was very uninteresting to me.  The mini-seminars on cloth making, butter churning, and broom making didn't exactly get my blood pumping.  However, towards the end of the tour, they did take us into the blacksmith shop.  With cold toes and a face still sticky from the orchard apple I had just eaten, we eagerly huddled into a dimly lit, but warm workspace.  I watched as the blacksmith started with a plain metal rod.  He laboriously heated, re-heated, stretched, hammered, twisted, and shaped the rod into what would later become a beautiful piece of art.  Maybe it was just the fact that this bored young boy was easily amused by metal and fire and pounding on an anvil, but something caught my eye that day.  I was in awe of authentic workmanship.

Hand-crafted products are becoming increasingly valuable in our world today.  All of the advancement in technology has slowly, but significantly bled out the number of true artists who work with their hands, those who take raw hunks of any given material and forge them into beautiful masterpieces.  If you've never witnessed it (or even if you have), I highly recommend you watch this video before you continue reading:  The Forged Rose.

In the grand scheme of things, you and I are just raw pieces of metal, brittle and unrefined.  When we truly encounter the Lord and make a commitment to discipleship, He begins to prepare us for glory.  This formation takes place through every circumstance that we encounter.  But as you saw in the video, the metal has to be heated to an extreme temperature before it is workable.  It's elemental composition has to be broken down for the artist can make something beautiful.  Everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen in our lives is all a part of this process.  The Master Craftsman is forging our endurance through suffering, that our endurance would produce character, and character would produce hope (Romans 5:3-4).  The fire of trials may break us down physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.  Yet it is in these most vulnerable moments that we are most desperate for the Lord.  We are ready to be formed.  And when He begins to work, it is unlike anything you have ever experienced before.  It is beautiful and difficult all at the same time, yet the hope that it produces is valuable beyond measure.  

Nobody likes the fire.  We would all rather God just snap His fingers and turn us into something beautiful.  But there is no dependency on His love in that.  There is no desperation for His faithfulness.  There is no choice.  He knit us together in our mother's womb with feelings, emotions, and a will, not so that trials would deter us from Him, but so that these things would allow us to experience His presence and faithfulness more fully.  Even in the fire, we must ask for the grace to glimpse the big picture.              

There will be a day when everything is made new.  Tears will stop flowing, hospital visits will end, and suffering will be but a distant memory.  On that day, we will be beautiful roses on display, wrought from our Heavenly Father's hands.  All of our radiance will be a magnificent reflection of the glory of the One who crafted us.  We may remember our suffering on earth, but only that it brought us closer to this day.

But today is not that day.  Until then, hold on to some hope.

Wrought,

MH

      

"Of More Worth Than Gold"

Last week, I stood in front of several dozen young men that comprise the Central York wrestling team and began to shine some light on the road ahead of them.  In some respects, the season had gone better than we had anticipated and in others, we had fallen short.  The regular season is now behind us and from here on out, they have to win to continue on to the next level.  The sectional tournament is just a few weeks away... barely enough to time to troubleshoot the things our guys need to improve on, get in great shape, and then rest so that they can peak.  But regardless of this time crunch, the coaching staff has put together a plan.  We believe it will put our young men in the best position to attain their goals, but only if they stay the course and believe.  Truth be told, the difficulty in training for the coming weeks won't be a walk in the park.  As I explained this to them, I could see the apprehension in their eyes.  They knew that this crazy, bearded man was going to work them hard... really hard. 


I remember another conversation just like this one, except I was on the receiving end.  Almost 10 months ago, I sat across from Dr. Brad Pohlman as he explained my diagnosis.  I felt just like my athletes as he talked.  I believed him because he had been doing this such a long time, but my nervous smile could not hold back the wave of apprehension that swept over me.  He began to explain what the chemotherapy and radiation would do and how they would work.  But as he rattled off the side effects, I had a hard time believing that this would actually help my body.  I had an even harder time believing it when the nausea, dizziness, and fatigue became part of my weekly routine.  


Whether it's athletics, cancer treatment, or just life in general, situations of suffering are so difficult to process because we can't tangibly grasp the end result yet.  It is so difficult to believe that these situations could actually leave us stronger.  The apostle Peter had something to say about it... 


Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.  This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.      


(I Peter 1:3-9)


The refining process is not a fun one.  We can experience no growth if we remain in our comfort zone.  But even understanding this, some struggles are still so difficult to digest.  How can we focus on faith, when all we can see is the hurt?  The answer is hope (go figure).  This hope is grounded in a heavenly inheritance; it can never be stripped away from us and it gives us the endurance necessary for any and all of life's trials.  Peter says that this faith to endure is of greater worth than gold.  Think about it.  One of the most valuable material items that we have on this earth can't hold a candle to the value of our faith, which is constantly being proved genuine.  It doesn't mean that we won't struggle.  It's not that the road isn't treacherous.  But it does mean that our faith will be proven as authentic as our hope if we will stay the course.  This course is moving us heavenward toward the goal: our heavenly Father's arms.    


As much as I would like to, I can't guarantee my athletes that our plan is 100% full-proof and that they will be state champions if they buy in.  My doctors at the Cleveland Clinic couldn't even guarantee that I would be cured by their array of advanced technology and medicines.  Such is the nature of being human.  But this one thing is for certain.  After nearly a year or struggling with cancer, my faith is just a little bit more refined.  A few more impurities have risen to the top and I am just a little bit closer to that inheritance.


But most importantly, it all resulted in the praise, glory, and honor of Jesus Christ. 


Constantly being refined,


MH

A Kingdom Partnership

With the start of a new year comes many new ventures, namely...  engagement, a triathlon, cancer-free life, and the commencement of my work with FCA Philly.  Each of these are exciting in their own right, but my ministry is the most pressing because of the fundraising element.  As of now, I have raised over 40% of my monthly goal and have been so blessed by those who have jumped on board right away and helped me prepare for the future.  Obviously, there is still a long way to go to do this full time.  I would like to ask for your help in the expansion of God's kingdom through FCA.  I am still seeking faithful partners to support me monthly; God is using such people to provide me with the means to meet the requirements for this ministry.  

Now a partnership with FCA is more accessible than ever!  Due to my "Prospective Staff" status, my name has been added to the website and you can give online now.  You can choose whichever method is most convenient for you (credit card or check) and you can choose a variety of ways to donate including monthly, quarterly, annually, or as you are able.  It's very simple!  Just visit http://fca.org/DonatetoFCA/ for more details.  Just be sure to indicate that you would like to give to a "Specific FCA Staff Person" and choose "Mike Hojnacki" from the drop down list.  In the event that you have any questions or need clarification about anything, please feel free to email me at mhojnacki@fca.org and I will be glad to help!

Please prayerfully consider if this is something the Lord would have you commit to.  The impact of your giving will be widespread and will affect many athletes, coaches, and communities.  If you aren't so sure, but would like to learn more, please email me and let's set up a time to meet so that I can walk you through the vision of the ministry and my particular responsibilities.  This is a big commitment and I want you to be as informed as possible!

I have great confidence that the Lord will provide.  Would you consider being a part of it?

MH

Great Gift, Even Better Reminder

Occasionally, the nature of a long distance relationship dictates that holiday celebrations take place over several days.  Such was the case for this year's not-so-white Christmas.  Just a few days before the New Year, I sat in the St. Clair living room as we shared stories of our holiday celebrations and even a few brief recipes for our favorite eats.  We finally concluded with the exchanging of a few gifts.  Lindsay placed the final present in my hands and after I had stripped it of its wrapping paper, I saw this frame:

She had artistically taken these pictures around Philly to fashion the word that has been my sustaining grace for the last 9 months: HOPE.  After I gawked at her creativity for some time, it hit me that this was the greatest gift I have ever received.  Don't get me wrong.  The frame is fantastic, but what it represents is even greater.  Several thousand years ago, God Almighty gave us hope packaged in the infant boy, Jesus.  Nothing more meek and vulnerable, yet the salvation of the world he had just entered rested on his shoulders.  And he did not disappoint.

Neither does the hope that came with him.  This is real, authentic hope, validated through the Gospel of Christ.  It was made possible through his death and resurrection.  And now December 25th is forever a reminder of the greatest gift we ever have and ever will receive.  Not earned, not deserved, but freely given, nonetheless.  

Thanks for this awesome reminder, Linds.

MH

Mary's Song

Have you ever really thought about what it would have been like to be Mary?  Can you even imagine actually having God-incarnate inside of your womb?  Could you dare to comprehend raising and caring for the one who would redeem the world with His very life and resurrection?  The weight of this concept is so enormous, yet its practical implications yield an equal burden.  From the time that she held the infant boy in her arms to the days when he accompanied her throughout town as a grown man, she received sideward scowls and judgmental glances from the townspeople.  No one else prior to or after Mary had ever been "divinely impregnated," so adultery was the only logical conclusion.  She received the news directly from an angel; the others had not.  Joseph probably received similar treatment.  His character was tainted in the eyes of his friends and family because he refused to divorce his unfaithful wife.  And eventually this family would have to flee the country to escape the murderous King Herod.  Was the task of raising Emmanuel so glorious after all?  

This couple was certainly endowed a privilege and responsibility of the greatest proportions.  They were hand-picked by the God of the universe to care for His only son.  But this was no walk in the park.  Mary and Joseph encountered angels, yet they were helpless to make the others believe their story.  It was illogical in every way.  They were thrust into a circumstance that they had no power to change... yet Mary's response is captivating: 

And Mary said:

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed, 

For the Mighty One has done great things for me- holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;

He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.  

He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, 

Remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, 

Even as he said to our fathers."


(Luke 1:46-55)


No hint of remorse.  No complaints.  No questions of "Why me?" or "Couldn't you have picked someone else?"  Instead, Mary's heart is, at its core, a worshipping one.  She uses this situation to bring about the glory of the One who had chosen her to be a part of His grand story.  She speaks of a God of mercy, might, and goodness.  Mary and Joseph were selected to be a part of this scene in God's masterfully composed redemption story.  He did not need them, yet He chose them.  Their response is of the utmost importance to us.

Mary and Joseph's involvement with the life of our Savior was not necessarily a case of suffering, but it was not easy by any means.  Even still, they portray the same faith in the big picture that men like Job and the Apostle Paul did.  They model for us the great reminder that we are not in control of what happens to us; we are responsible for how we react, with the end goal being Christ's glory.  Imagine how different the world would look if we were like-minded with Mary and Joseph in our approach to life's twists and turns.

Submission to the Father's story at the expense of your own comfort (or even safety) is no small thing.  But if I could ask Mary if it was all worth it, I have a sneaking suspicion she'd say "yes."


So grateful for her example,

MH

Victory

When the whistle blows at the beginning of a wrestling match, both competitors know that they will walk off the mat with one victorious and one defeated.  No matter how long the match, no matter how great the struggle, there are no "ties" in wrestling.  Whether you barely broke a sweat or you leave with fresh battle scars, it all boils down to getting your hand raised.  It is the motivation for getting up at 6am for a sprint workout.  It is the driving force behind the desire to endure the most grueling practices you can imagine.  It is the essence of victory.      

And here we are.  I've been looking forward to "getting my hand raised" for 8 grueling months.  They were some of the longest, most taxing months of my life, yet as sit here in retrospect, it all seems like it took place in the blink of an eye.  Here at the end of treatment, it is easy to feel like I just gutted it out.  It is tempting to feel that things like perspective and attitude were fruits of my own efforts.  It's true... I did defeat cancer, but I cannot claim glory for myself.

Cancer is such a unique opponent.  It is not selective in it's choosing.  It takes any and all challengers regardless of age, physical fitness, wealth, or social status.  But we can be honest.  My particular diagnosis was not so life-threatening.  This scenario made it easy for me to put my hope in doctors, in chemotherapy, and in radiation.  But such a hope was falsely placed.  Clearly, the Lord was capable of healing me right from the get-go, but He chose not to do that.  He allowed the sickness to run its course, but then heal me through the use of those doctors and treatments.  He had a plan for this situation to serve its purpose and enlarge my view (and the view of those around me) of His steadfast love and faithfulness.  He instilled in me the peace that I would get my hand raised at the end of this; it was just a matter of time.  He was the one  who conquered.

But the mere fact that treatment is over and I am healthy doesn't mean that the battle has been won, for this struggle was against something greater than just cancer.  There is victory because my story (as a part of the big picture) ends well.  There is victory because Satan's efforts to bring despair and fear have failed miserably.  There is victory because this circumstance brought about the glory of the one who allowed it to happen.  I am not so ignorant to think that I will never have to endure suffering again and that there are still many battles to be fought.  But I am encouraged because we will never be put to shame and hope is never out of reach because we serve the Almighty God who never allows His love and faithfulness to leave us:

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39)  

These are words to live your life by.  Scripture tells us that there is absolutely nothing in all of God's creation that can separate us from Him.  Not one single thing!  That alone is motivation enough to fight the good fight.  

I must thank each and every one of you for your prayer and support since Day 1.  You all have been the most tangible example of the Body of Christ that I have ever experienced and I just don't have the words to express my gratitude!  There is so much of the story that is yet untold, so I will do my best to spread some hope as it unfolds.  I encourage you to do likewise.

12/3/11

           

Victorious through HIM,

MH

Big Task, Bigger God

With only 6 radiation treatments left to go, my mind has been pressed for some time now to look toward my future with FCA and start to attack the fundraising component.  But let's back it up and let me bring you up to speed with those plans.  A lot has changed...

Way back in the spring, I interviewed with FCA for an Area Representative position in Central Pennsylvania.  But shortly after that, I was diagnosed with lymphoma and my start date was pushed into the "to be determined" realm, since the duration of my treatment was unknown.  The doctor was finally able to project a completion date back in October, so we began the process of figuring out when I could come on board.  In a two week blur of decision making, phone calls, emails, and interviews, I was offered the opportunity to transfer to work with FCA in the Greater Philadelphia area.  The switch offers the same wonderful chances to minister through the medium of sports, but the most beneficial aspect is that it provides a scenario that could make my future plans with a special someone much easier.  We could both be in one location where we are being obedient to our call and doing what we love to do.  

Among so many other things, I feel that my health situation was God's hand-picked method of moving me onto His timeline.  I certainly had my ducks in a row and thought that my plans for the future were set, but He turned that upside down for something even better!  This position in Philly was not available when I first interviewed, and so He found a unique way of making me wait.  I have so much peace in my heart about this decision, despite the drastic change that it will be.  My ministry resume doesn't include extensive inner city work and, to some degree, it is intimidating.  Yet I feel such a strong leading from His spirit and I take comfort in the stories of men like King David and Moses.  The shepherd boy David was but a pre-adolescent boy when he took down a battle-tested giant with a mere stone and Moses went to Egypt kicking and screaming; yet God used both men in a mighty way for His glory.  Who am I to think that He is incapable of doing the same with my story?  Someone once told me that "God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called."  I think there's some truth in there.  I believe that my entire athletic career and recent battle with cancer is forging a testimony that will be very useful in this particular ministry.  

Here's the thing:  my work with FCA will be entirely faith-based.  That means that I need to raise support before I can do it... $70,000 if I want to come on full-time.  That will cover a salary, benefits, insurance, etc.  Right now, the challenge seems like an immovable mountain, as I would love to start by the Summer of 2012.  Luckily, I serve a God who specializes in such tasks.  I would like to appeal for your help.  I humbly ask for your investment in me and in the work of building The Kingdom in the Greater Philly area.  The most helpful way that you could contribute would be through a monthly partnership;  such donations would be tax-deductible and would equip me with a steady income to make more informed ministry and stewardship decisions (obviously, one time gifts would also be accepted and appreciated, but monthly gifts will provide the backbone for my income).  Again, this seems like such a daunting venture, yet I don't believe that God called me out here, only to leave me hanging.  The funds will come in through His provision and timing.  Will you prayerfully consider the investment?  Will you be a part of what God is doing?  Your contributions will impact inner-city coaches, athletes, and communities in a permanent, gospel-centered way.  That is what it's all about.

If you don't need to hear any more and would like to join my "Home Team," then please contact me at mchlhojnacki@gmail.com and let's get started!  If you would like to hear more about the ministry, my story, or explore the best way for you to help, email me and let's grab a coffee or arrange a time to chat.  To embark on a journey like this, I realize that there needs to be some clarity about the particulars.  It would be my pleasure to do that for you!  Here are some links that might be helpful to you if you are not familiar with FCA...

Fellowship of Christian Athletes (main):  www.fca.org
Greater Philadelphia FCA:  www.phillyfca.org

If you are reading this, chances are you have been following my story for some time and I truly have appreciated the never ending supply of prayer and support.  Please consider being a part of God's work as He closes one chapter and begins another... for HIS glory.    

In Faith,

MH

***Please feel free to share this post and help me out as I set out on my fundraising journey!    

Eagle Wings

6 months, 25 days, 2 hours, 20 minutes and counting...  By my best "guesstimation," that is the amount of time that this journey has taken thus far (and there's still some left to go).  Occasionally, it feels like time has flown, but on gloomier days, the time seems to have slowed to a crawl.  The toll that it has taken exceeds the physical.  There have been vicious struggles on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual fronts as well, so describing the experience as a "roller coaster" might not do it justice.  Yesterday was one of those struggles.

Monday morning's visit to the Cleveland Clinic was a preliminary appointment to set things up for my ensuing radiation therapy.  I was informed that it would be starting a full week later than I anticipated, and the additional appointment yesterday brought all of my exhaustion and frustration to the surface.  There have been numerous points throughout my treatment where I thought I was so close to finishing, yet it just kept getting dragged out longer and longer.  This timeline of completion has caused some unwanted repercussions with the plans that I had previously made before my diagnosis.  The struggle of choosing to have confidence in God's sovereignty and timing has slowly bled me of my energy.  After several hours of frustrated venting and worrying, I had nowhere else to go but His word.  I came across this well-known passage from Isaiah 40 and in it, I found solace...          

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God?"  Have you not known?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.  Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (v. 27-31).

These words had been committed to memory since I was a elementary school boy, but they struck new meaning for me this time around.  You see, my subconscious desire was that the Lord would mount me up on the eagle wings and carry me far away from this desert to the lush oasis of cancer-free life.  I'd prefer to close my eyes and wake up the next morning and be free of appointments, needles, treatments, and 45 minute drives to the clinic.  Is God capable of doing that?  Absolutely.  Will He do that?  This passage suggests that He probably won't.  The precursor in these verses is that our everlasting God created the ends of the earth with a knowledge that we are hopeless to understand.  That means that my 16 years of top-flight education make me totally and utterly unqualified to question His timing and His purposes.  But He doesn't just leave it at that and tell us to simply deal with it.  To those who wait, He renews their strength... so that they can run again.  He mounts them on wings like eagles... so that they can put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.  

Maybe you're like me.  Maybe you want a quick fix to things that aren't going to well in your life.  Maybe you have prayed for the eagle wings to take you far, far away from your problems.  I hate to admit it, but we've goofed up; we're asking the wrong things.  We need to pray for the grace to acknowledge His sovereignty.  We need to pray for strength that we clearly don't have.  And we need to pray for the endurance to not just run, but run well, a race that is worthy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Mounting up,

MH        

Time Not Wasted

Just a quick thought for today...

The past few days have been jam packed with reflection over the past six months.  It really started to hit me when I went in for my radiation simulation on Monday.  As I closed my eyes and passed in and out of the big doughnut shaped CT scanner, the realization swept over me that the finish line was less than one month away.  It was surreal to comprehend how I felt at the start of it all, how I had no idea what to expect.  It was like taking a big breath before the plunge.  The process was a draining one that I just desperately wanted to get though and be done with.  But now, in retrospect, it feels like a mere blink.

Such is the reality of life and of suffering.  One phone call can instantly re-route our plans and outlook on the future.  But even though that may be the case, we cannot waste such times.  I have mistakenly told inquiring people that my life has been "put on hold" by this cancer.  It was all too easy to think that just because my plans didn't pan out that this was just a storm that I had to hunker down and wait out before I could move forward.  Then it hit me:  this period of my life was not an accident.  It didn't occur outside of God's plan, so that means that it was granted to me as yet another opportunity to be refined, to grow, and to testify to His faithfulness.  I don't need to wait until I finish treatment; I can testify right in the eye of the hurricane because I still have life, breath, and the peace that transcends all understanding.  It's easy to do it on a blog like this, but I've also come into contact with hundreds of new faces.  They are hundreds of new conversations to be had and as many opportunities to share good news.  I can only hope that I made the most of this storm and desire to do the same with the grey clouds that will surely be coming my way in the future.  Whatever happens, it is imperative that He gets the glory and that His gospel becomes more real to the world around us.    

Are you wasting your storm?

MH

(Almost) On My Way

I will never forget my first chemotherapy treatment.  Besides being on the threshold of completely uncharted territory that was my treatment regime, I got a front row seat to the infamous "Ringing Out Ceremony."  Patients at the Taussig Cancer Center get the special opportunity to read a poem and ring a bell three times to signify the completion of their chemotherapy.  This bell happened to be right outside my door way back in May.  As the nurse was prepping my medication, a lucky patient rang the bell and the hallway erupted with the applause of hospital staff and close family members of the triumphant patient.  Camera reflections bounced off of the glass and a chorus of sniffles tried to contain the tears of joy.  The nurse turned to me and said, "You're going to get to do that when you're all done."  Chills ran down my spine as I exchanged smiles of anticipation with my mom and Lindsay, but I knew that there was a very long road ahead.

And a long road it was.  My experience with chemotherapy was everything I was warned it would be and sometimes, even worse.  It was the longest, most grueling 6 months of my life and the hardest thing I've ever done.  But this trial can't hold a candle to the overwhelming amount of little graces scattered along the way, the ever-present affirmations of faithfulness.  My Heavenly Father said He would be faithful, and He consistently outdid Himself. 

Treatment is not quite over just yet.  I will take a 3 week break to let my body recover with some to appointments thrown in there to address the ensuing radiation cycle.  But from what I'm told, the hardest part is over.  I went in yesterday planning to sleep for the duration of the 3 hr. treatment, but that was wishful thinking.  It was comparable to Christmas morning, but way better.  Despite feeling like a tranquilized bear from all of my nausea medication, I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as I rang the bell, hugged my mom and nurses, and then walked out on Cloud 9.  I was grinning ear to ear because God was faithful, just like He said He would be.  For a believer, there can be no greater source of joy.

Ring this bell
Three times well
It's toll to clearly say
My treatment's done
My course is run
And I am on my way

Almost there,

MH

A Photo Reel For Faithfulness

If you've been keeping up with this blog since the start, you might remember that the prayer I found myself praying that God would be faithful.  I wasn't asking that He would take my cancer from me; I just asked that He would be faithful like He said He would.

Well He certainly has been and we caught it on camera...

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         
These photos still give me chills when I look through them because they are a testament to His faithfulness.  They are evidence of the shadow of His wings.  They are the proof that the Body of Christ is alive and well.  This night only represented a fraction of the people who have tirelessly come around me and my family and made God's presence that much more real.  We can't say thank you enough.

Truly blessed,

MH 

Put Down Your Stones

I'm taking a little detour from my typical ramblings on hope this week.  I was blessed with the wonderful opportunity to write a guest entry for RedLikeBlood.com.  First of all, if you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it!  It is a raw and captivating book about grace in full fledged accounts from its co-authors, Joe Coffey and Bob Bevington.  Secondly, I highly recommend that you subscribe to the blog to receive constant updates, reminders, and stories about the utterly transforming power of the Gospel.  Anyways, here is my most recent encounter with grace...

http://www.redlikeblood.com/2011/10/04/michael-hojnacki-cancer-and-grace/

Enjoy,

MH

Of Bad Things and Good People

I have known about God for a pretty long time.  Over years and years of being raised and educated by people that feared Him, I invested a lot of time wrestling over aspects of His character and trying to glimpse just a bit more of His divine mystery.  For the most part, I felt that I had a decent handle on being able to articulate what I thought about Him (at least as well as anyone else my age could).  But there was always one question that made me wilt like a young seedling in the desert sun.  I was never quite able to come up with anything substantial to answer the age old question: "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?"  Every time I was approached with it, I retreated with my tail between my legs.  Here I was choosing to give my life to this God, who I claimed "so loved the world" and I couldn't provide an account for natural disasters, disease, death, and the like.  I felt like a fool.

But the recent months of my life have slowly but surely begun to forge a response to this question.  This question is an important one and the inner struggle it creates causes many to turn from Christianity because they don't want anything to do with such a God.  We believers need not shy away from the issue, but attack it head on and validate that our God does, indeed, love us and that He is worth submitting our lives to.  So out of relevant life circumstance, here are a few thoughts... 

To answer this question, there are a few unspoken assumptions we have to uncover. 

Assumption #1:  There is such thing as a "good" person, and such people are undeserving of pain, suffering, and/or heartache.

Problem with Assumption #1:  The term "good person" is about as ambiguous as it gets.  As far as I'm aware, there is no standard or cut-off to clearly delineate the bad apples from the good ones.  Anyone resting under that title would never claim to be perfect, but they would use the term as a form of self-righteousness to make themselves feel better than the guy who is on death row in Florida for 1st degree murder, robbery, and kicking a few puppies.  The Bible is pretty clear that we all fall short (Romans 3:23).  It doesn't matter if you miss the mark by an inch or a mile... we all fall short.  We seemed to have something wired in our DNA for us to think that because we're "good," we should be exempt from the "bad."  Matthew 5:45 says, "For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."  That's just life.    

Assumption #2:  When God says that He loves us, that means that He desires for us to be fat, happy, healthy, and wealthy.       

Problem with Assumption #2:  Even if we can humble ourselves off of our high horses and accept the fact we're not as awesome as we once thought, a conflict still remains over what God really means when He says that He loves us.  To answer this, we have to dig deep down into the roots of our cultural brainwashing.  Every commercial, every ad, and everything marketed to us in our society screams that our comfort and pleasure are the top priorities.  Unfortunately, we unknowingly try to fit our notion of God into that box.  At the mention of the word "love," our minds tend to jump to the happy, fluffy stuff that reminds us of Valentine's Day.  There is no kind of Scriptural basis to support that definition of love, yet it is the one that we often superimpose on God.

To put this issue to rest, we have to pull our perspective back to the big picture.  It is not a matter of our momentary pleasure, but rather, it is one of redemption on the grand timeline of eternity.  Here is what it ultimately comes down to:  God's deepest desire is not our comfort; His primary concern is that our character be developed so that we will come to a greater understanding of the salvation He has made possible for us through His one and only son, Jesus Christ.  I don't claim to know a God who is up in heaven trying to keep a bunch of people happy who have sinned against Him in every which way possible.  I claim a God who sent Jesus to die for us "while we were yet sinners" (Romans 5:8).  Though He owes us absolutely nothing, He has given everything and will hold nothing back, including trials, so that we will have our eyes opened to how badly we need Him.  He is interested in the big picture.  He is finishing what He started through the good and the bad.

This is not to say that suffering doesn't sting.  It doesn't mean that, in our humanity, that we will never draw into question God's plan.  And it doesn't mean that we won't lose sight of the big picture in the midst of horrendous hurt and showers of tears.  I would be lying myself if I said that this battle with cancer hasn't been the most draining, most trying experience of my entire life.  But what joy it brings my heart to be able to say that I know my God better... because I have cancer.  I have a deeper and truer understanding of His love for me... because I have cancer.  Other people people are getting a glimpse of the big picture... because I have cancer.

Oh, how I wish this would have happened a lot sooner.  Not really, but you catch my drift.

Resting in the big picture,

MH