Carry Me

The Christian Contemporary Music scene is one that I am slowly starting to develop a slight distaste for.  In my humblest opinion, things are beginning to get a tad generic and stale (I literally heard the phrase "up from the ashes" in three recently released songs).  The music and the lyrics are starting to drift towards the shallow end, and although this is not a sweeping generalization for every artist and every song, I think there is room for refreshed creativity.

But I'm not here to rant and rave about my personal opinions of music.  Despite my aforementioned comments, I have been personally encouraged by the lyrics of one such artist who does not fit the mold of what I have just described in CCM.  When I first heard Audrey Assad's music (a song inspired from St. Augustine's famous words entitled Restless), I encountered something I hadn't heard in a while.  It was depth, creativity, perspective, and truth all in the same song.  I would later learn that this would hold true for the majority of her music.  As an interest in her lyrical ability grew, I stumbled across the song Carry Me.  The words captured my heart and I began to share them with others who were hurting, never thinking that I would be clinging to them like a life raft in a few short months.  Here are the lyrics:


Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but

You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it

Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but

You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me

And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide

You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me

And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me

You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide  


We don't hear too many more songs like that anymore.  We don't think about Him getting glory in the midst of suffering and we certainly don't consider ourselves blessed because of trials.  The farther along that I travel this road, the more God is impressing upon my heart that this is not about me.  That is an often cliche statement that we casually throw around, but seriously, this is about His glory being made known.  He is refining hearts in the fires of suffering so that in the end, we will be brilliant displays of the hope of heaven!  But there can be no taking away the fact that refining is a painful process.  It stings.  This week, I've begun to taste what this is going to be like.  I began chemotherapy on Tuesday and the fatigue and the nausea began to set in.  I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wished He had picked another way to make Himself known.  In solitary darkness, the questions begin to flow and I can't help but try to make sense of everything as I release my fears.  Nonetheless, this is my portion and I will partake in it while struggling to claim what I know to be true: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (II Corinthians 4:17).  With the hope that Christ has established in us, fatigue is light and nausea is momentary.  They will be a vapor of a memory one day...

I do know that His promises are faithful and I have seen His goodness in my life.  Therefore, I will choose to believe that as I carry this cancer, He will be the one carrying me.  There can be no greater peace.  Thank you for that reminder, Audrey Assad.

Carried,

MH